Attachment and Loneliness in Marital Relationships
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Published:
Jun 26, 2019
Keywords:
marital relationships; attachment; loneliness; marital happiness
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Abstract
The aim of the article is to describe the phenomenon of loneliness appearing in married couples of different length of marriage. The author refer not to this kind of loneliness that is an existential experience, but to a subjective and emotional phenomenon arising in the context of social relations that are inadequate to the needs and expectations of the lonely people. The following variables were taken into account when studying the phenomenon of loneliness: attachment style, the level of marital happiness and quality of relationships in the respondents’ family of origin. The following questionnaires were used: The Attachment Styles Questionnaire (ASQ) by M. Plopa, The Marital Happiness Questionnaire (MHQ) by K. Pospiszyl, The Scale for Measuring Subjective Loneliness (DJGLS) by J. De Jong Gierveld and F. Kamphuis and the author’s own survey examining the relationships in the family of origin. 250 couples of different length of marriage were examined. As a result of the research studies positive relationships were found between loneliness and insecure attachment styles in all subjects and between loneliness and age and length of marriage of surveyed men. It was also the presence of negative relationships between loneliness and marital happiness, secure attachment style and high quality of relationships in the respondents’ family of origin. The quality of relationships in the family of origin consisted of: rewarding relationship with a respondent’s mother and father, a sense of being loved, high assessment of the relationship of parents in childhood, high assessment of respondents’ childhood, parents interest in children learning, parents help in childhood, parents punishment in childhood (understood as a symptom of proper upbringing).
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References
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Bion, W. (2010). Uwaga i interpretacja. Warszawa: Oficyna Ingenium.
Booth, R. (2000). Loneliness as a Component of Psychiatric Disorders. Medscape General Medicine, 2 (2), 1-7.
Bowlby, J. (1988). A Secure Base. Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development. New York: Basic Books.
Bowlby, J. (2007). Przywiązanie. Warszawa: Wydawnictwo Naukowe PWN.
Brennan, K.A., Clark, C.L., Shaver, P.R. (1998). Self-Report Measurement of Adult Attachment. An Integrative Overview. W: J.A. Simpson, W.S. Rholes (red.), Attachment Theory and Close Relationships (s. 46-76). New York: Guilford Press.
Cassidy, J., Kobak, R.R. (1988). Avoidance and its Relationship with Other Defensive Processes. W: J. Belsky, T. Nezworski (red.), Clinical Implications of Attachment (s. 300-323). Hillsdale– New York: Erlbaum.
Chybicka, A. (2008). Zadowolenie ze związku intymnego oraz psychologiczne zyski i koszty związane z pozostawaniem w relacji – analiza porównawcza bezdzietnych związków małżeńskich i niemałżeńskich o podobnym stażu. Psychologia Rozwojowa, 13 (3), 79-90.
Collins, R., Coltrane, S. (1991). Sociology of Marriage and the Family. Chicago: Nelson-Hall Publishers.
Cordova, J.V., Jacobson, N.S. (1997). Acceptance in Couple Therapy and its Implications for the Treatment of Depression. W: R.J. Sternberg, M. Hojjat (red.), Satisfaction in Close Relationships (s. 307-334). New York: Guilford Press.
De Jong Gierveld, J., Kamphuis, F. (1985). The Development of a Rasch-Type Loneliness Scale. Applied Psychological Measurement, 9, 289-299.
Deniz, M.E., Hamarta, E., Ari, R. (2005). An Investigation of Social Skills and Loneliness Levels of University Students with Respect to their Attachment Styles in a Sample of Turkish Students. Social Behaviour and Personality, 33, 19-32.
Ditommaso, E., Brannen-Mcnulty, C., Ross, L., Burgess, M. (2003). Attachment Styles, Social Skills and Loneliness in Young Adults. Personality and Individual Differences, 35, 303-312.
Eysenck, H.J., Wilson, G. (1979). The Psychology of Sex. London: J.M. Dent.
Feeney J.A., Kirkpatrick, L.A. (1996). Effects of Adult Attachment and Presence of Romantic Partners on Physiological Responses to Stress. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70, 255-270.
Freud, S. (2016). Wstęp do psychoanalizy. Warszawa: Wydawnictwo Naukowe PWN.
Griffin, D., Bartholomew, K. (1994). Models of the Self and Other: Fundamental Dimensions Underlying Measures of Adult Attachment. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 67, 430-445.
Grygiel, P., Humenny, G., Rębisz, S., Świtaj, P., Sikorska-Grygiel, J. (2012). Validating the Polish Adaptation of the 11-item de Jong Gierveld Loneliness Scale. European Journal of Psychological Assessment, 29 (2), 129-139.
Hazan, C., Shaver, P.R. (1987). Romantic Love Conceptualized as an Attachment Process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52, 511-524.
Hazan, C., Shaver, P.R. (1990). Love and Work: an Attachment-Theoretical Perspective. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 59, 270-280.
Herman, J. (1994). Coping with Trauma – Theory, Prevention and Treatment. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 7, 151-152.
Janicka, I. (2004). Poczucie osamotnienia w małżeństwie. Psychologia Rozwojowa, 9 (2), 55-63.
Karbowa, M. (2012). Samotność w świetle teorii przywiązania. Studia Psychologiczne, 50 (1), 27-38.
Kobak, R.R., Sceery, A. (1988). Attachment in Late Adolescence: Working Models, Affect Regulation, and Representations of Self and Others. Child Development, 59, 135-146.
Kornaszewska-Polak, M. (2015). Przywiązanie i osamotnienie w bliskich relacjach. Roczniki Pedagogiczne, 7 (43), 3, 23-40.
Kornaszewska-Polak, M. (2016). Subjective Loneliness, Well-Being and Marital Satisfaction in Couples with Different Attachment Styles. Polskie Forum Psychologiczne, 21 (4), 514-533.
Lindboe, I. (2014). The Relation between Adverse Childhood Experiences and Attachment-Related Anxiety and Avoidance in Adult Romantic Relationships. A Study of Pregnant Norwegian Women. Oslo: University of Oslo Press.
Mikulincer, M., Shaver, P.R. (2007). Attachment in Adulthood. Structure, Dynamics, Change. New York–London: The Guilford Press.
Murray, S.L., Holmes, J.G. (1997). A Leap of Faith? Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23, 586-604.
Nikitin, J., Freund, A.M. (2009). When Wanting and Fearing go Together: The Effect of Co-occurring social Approach and Avoidance Motivation on Behaviour, Affect, and Cognition. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40, 783-804.
Peplau, L.A., Perlman, D. (1982). Perspectives on Loneliness. W: L.A. Peplau, D. Perlman (red.), Loneliness: A Sourcebook of Current Theory, Research and Therapy (s. 1-18). New York: Wiley.
Perry, B. (1994). Neurobiological Sequelae of Childhood Trauma: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorders in Children. W: M. Murburg (red.), Catecholamine Function in Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: Emerging Concepts (s. 253-276). Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Press.
Plopa, M. (2004). Psychologia rodziny. Teoria i badania. Elbląg: Wydawnictwo Elbląskiej Uczelni Humanistyczno-Ekonomicznej.
Plopa, M. (2008). Kwestionariusz Stylów Przywiązaniowych KSP. Warszawa: Pracownia Testów Psychologicznych PTP.
Pospiszyl, K. (1991). Kwestionariusz Szczęścia Małżeńskiego jako metoda oceny stopnia zadowolenia z małżeństwa. Problemy Rodziny, 5, 7-13.
Rembowski, J. (1992). Samotność. Gdańsk: Wydawnictwo Uniwersytetu Gdańskiego.
Rholes, W.S., Simpson, J.A. (2004). Attachment Theory, Basic Concepts and Contemporary Questions. W: W.S. Rholes, J.A. Simpson (red.), Adult Attachment. Theory, Research, and Clinical Applications (s. 3-16). New York–London: Guilford Press.
Rostowski, J. (1989). Dezintegracja więzi rodzinnej oraz innych związków interpersonalnych a poczucie osamotnienia jednostki. Roczniki Socjologii Rodziny, 1, 191-207.
Rostowski, J., Rostowska, T. (2014). Małżeństwo i miłość. Kontekst psychologiczny i neuropsychologiczny. Warszawa: Wydawnictwo Difin.
Ryś, M. (1999). Psychologia małżeństwa w zarysie. Warszawa: Centrum Metodyczne Pomocy Psychologiczno-Pedagogicznej Ministerstwa Edukacji Narodowej.
Ryś, M. (2008). Rodzinne uwarunkowania psychospołecznego funkcjonowania dorosłych dzieci alkoholików. Warszawa: Wydawnictwo Naukowe PWN.
Szopińska, K., Szopiński, J. (1980). Satysfakcja z małżeństwa. Novum, 6, 88-105.
Śliwak, J., Zarzycka, B., Dziduch, A. (2011). Typy samoświadomości a poczucie osamotnienia. Przegląd Psychologiczny, 54 (3), 241-254.
Wei, M., Russell, D.W., Zakalik, R.A. (2005). Adult Attachment, Social Self-Efficacy, Self- Disclosure, Loneliness, and Subsequent Depression of Freshmen College Students: A Longitudinal Study. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 52 (4), 602-614.
Weinder, G. (2000). Why do Men Get More Heart Disease than Women? An International Perspective. Journal of American College Health, 48, 123-135.
Weiss, R.S. (1973). Loneliness: The Experience of Emotional and Social Isolation. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press.
Wennerberg, T. (2011). Vi er våre relasjoner. Stockholm: Arneberg Forlag AS.
Williams, D. (2007). A Dynamic Systems Analysis of Adult Attachment Styles, Affect, Flexibility, and Real Time Marital Interaction. Stillwater, OK: State University Press.
Winnicott, D. (1994). Dzieci i ich matki. Warszawa: Wydawnictwo W.A.B.
Wiseman, H., Mayseless, O., Sharabany, R. (2006). Why are they Lonely? Perceived Quality of Early Relationships with Parents, Attachment, Personality Predispositions and Loneliness in First-Year University Students. Personality and Individual Differences, 40, 237-248.
Wojciszke, B. (2009). Psychologia miłości. Gdańsk: Gdańskie Wydawnictwo Psychologiczne.
Wood, L.A. (1986). Loneliness. W: R. Harré (red.), The Social Construction of Emotions (s. 184-208). Oxford: Blackwell.
Zalewska, S. (2015). Samotność i osamotnienie w doświadczeniach i narracjach małżeńskich. Warszawa: Wydawnictwo Uniwersytetu Kardynała Stefana Wyszyńskiego.
Banse, R. (2004). Adult Attachment and Marital Satisfaction: Evidence for Dyadic Configuration Effects. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 21, 273-282.
Bartholomew, K., Horowitz, L.M. (1991). Attachment Styles Among Young Adults: A Test of a Four Category Model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 61, 226-244.
Baumeister, R.F., Leary, M.R. (1995). The Need to Belong: Desire for Interpersonal Attachments as a Fundamental Human Motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117 (3), 497-529.
Bion, W. (2010). Uwaga i interpretacja. Warszawa: Oficyna Ingenium.
Booth, R. (2000). Loneliness as a Component of Psychiatric Disorders. Medscape General Medicine, 2 (2), 1-7.
Bowlby, J. (1988). A Secure Base. Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development. New York: Basic Books.
Bowlby, J. (2007). Przywiązanie. Warszawa: Wydawnictwo Naukowe PWN.
Brennan, K.A., Clark, C.L., Shaver, P.R. (1998). Self-Report Measurement of Adult Attachment. An Integrative Overview. W: J.A. Simpson, W.S. Rholes (red.), Attachment Theory and Close Relationships (s. 46-76). New York: Guilford Press.
Cassidy, J., Kobak, R.R. (1988). Avoidance and its Relationship with Other Defensive Processes. W: J. Belsky, T. Nezworski (red.), Clinical Implications of Attachment (s. 300-323). Hillsdale– New York: Erlbaum.
Chybicka, A. (2008). Zadowolenie ze związku intymnego oraz psychologiczne zyski i koszty związane z pozostawaniem w relacji – analiza porównawcza bezdzietnych związków małżeńskich i niemałżeńskich o podobnym stażu. Psychologia Rozwojowa, 13 (3), 79-90.
Collins, R., Coltrane, S. (1991). Sociology of Marriage and the Family. Chicago: Nelson-Hall Publishers.
Cordova, J.V., Jacobson, N.S. (1997). Acceptance in Couple Therapy and its Implications for the Treatment of Depression. W: R.J. Sternberg, M. Hojjat (red.), Satisfaction in Close Relationships (s. 307-334). New York: Guilford Press.
De Jong Gierveld, J., Kamphuis, F. (1985). The Development of a Rasch-Type Loneliness Scale. Applied Psychological Measurement, 9, 289-299.
Deniz, M.E., Hamarta, E., Ari, R. (2005). An Investigation of Social Skills and Loneliness Levels of University Students with Respect to their Attachment Styles in a Sample of Turkish Students. Social Behaviour and Personality, 33, 19-32.
Ditommaso, E., Brannen-Mcnulty, C., Ross, L., Burgess, M. (2003). Attachment Styles, Social Skills and Loneliness in Young Adults. Personality and Individual Differences, 35, 303-312.
Eysenck, H.J., Wilson, G. (1979). The Psychology of Sex. London: J.M. Dent.
Feeney J.A., Kirkpatrick, L.A. (1996). Effects of Adult Attachment and Presence of Romantic Partners on Physiological Responses to Stress. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70, 255-270.
Freud, S. (2016). Wstęp do psychoanalizy. Warszawa: Wydawnictwo Naukowe PWN.
Griffin, D., Bartholomew, K. (1994). Models of the Self and Other: Fundamental Dimensions Underlying Measures of Adult Attachment. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 67, 430-445.
Grygiel, P., Humenny, G., Rębisz, S., Świtaj, P., Sikorska-Grygiel, J. (2012). Validating the Polish Adaptation of the 11-item de Jong Gierveld Loneliness Scale. European Journal of Psychological Assessment, 29 (2), 129-139.
Hazan, C., Shaver, P.R. (1987). Romantic Love Conceptualized as an Attachment Process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52, 511-524.
Hazan, C., Shaver, P.R. (1990). Love and Work: an Attachment-Theoretical Perspective. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 59, 270-280.
Herman, J. (1994). Coping with Trauma – Theory, Prevention and Treatment. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 7, 151-152.
Janicka, I. (2004). Poczucie osamotnienia w małżeństwie. Psychologia Rozwojowa, 9 (2), 55-63.
Karbowa, M. (2012). Samotność w świetle teorii przywiązania. Studia Psychologiczne, 50 (1), 27-38.
Kobak, R.R., Sceery, A. (1988). Attachment in Late Adolescence: Working Models, Affect Regulation, and Representations of Self and Others. Child Development, 59, 135-146.
Kornaszewska-Polak, M. (2015). Przywiązanie i osamotnienie w bliskich relacjach. Roczniki Pedagogiczne, 7 (43), 3, 23-40.
Kornaszewska-Polak, M. (2016). Subjective Loneliness, Well-Being and Marital Satisfaction in Couples with Different Attachment Styles. Polskie Forum Psychologiczne, 21 (4), 514-533.
Lindboe, I. (2014). The Relation between Adverse Childhood Experiences and Attachment-Related Anxiety and Avoidance in Adult Romantic Relationships. A Study of Pregnant Norwegian Women. Oslo: University of Oslo Press.
Mikulincer, M., Shaver, P.R. (2007). Attachment in Adulthood. Structure, Dynamics, Change. New York–London: The Guilford Press.
Murray, S.L., Holmes, J.G. (1997). A Leap of Faith? Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 23, 586-604.
Nikitin, J., Freund, A.M. (2009). When Wanting and Fearing go Together: The Effect of Co-occurring social Approach and Avoidance Motivation on Behaviour, Affect, and Cognition. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40, 783-804.
Peplau, L.A., Perlman, D. (1982). Perspectives on Loneliness. W: L.A. Peplau, D. Perlman (red.), Loneliness: A Sourcebook of Current Theory, Research and Therapy (s. 1-18). New York: Wiley.
Perry, B. (1994). Neurobiological Sequelae of Childhood Trauma: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorders in Children. W: M. Murburg (red.), Catecholamine Function in Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: Emerging Concepts (s. 253-276). Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Press.
Plopa, M. (2004). Psychologia rodziny. Teoria i badania. Elbląg: Wydawnictwo Elbląskiej Uczelni Humanistyczno-Ekonomicznej.
Plopa, M. (2008). Kwestionariusz Stylów Przywiązaniowych KSP. Warszawa: Pracownia Testów Psychologicznych PTP.
Pospiszyl, K. (1991). Kwestionariusz Szczęścia Małżeńskiego jako metoda oceny stopnia zadowolenia z małżeństwa. Problemy Rodziny, 5, 7-13.
Rembowski, J. (1992). Samotność. Gdańsk: Wydawnictwo Uniwersytetu Gdańskiego.
Rholes, W.S., Simpson, J.A. (2004). Attachment Theory, Basic Concepts and Contemporary Questions. W: W.S. Rholes, J.A. Simpson (red.), Adult Attachment. Theory, Research, and Clinical Applications (s. 3-16). New York–London: Guilford Press.
Rostowski, J. (1989). Dezintegracja więzi rodzinnej oraz innych związków interpersonalnych a poczucie osamotnienia jednostki. Roczniki Socjologii Rodziny, 1, 191-207.
Rostowski, J., Rostowska, T. (2014). Małżeństwo i miłość. Kontekst psychologiczny i neuropsychologiczny. Warszawa: Wydawnictwo Difin.
Ryś, M. (1999). Psychologia małżeństwa w zarysie. Warszawa: Centrum Metodyczne Pomocy Psychologiczno-Pedagogicznej Ministerstwa Edukacji Narodowej.
Ryś, M. (2008). Rodzinne uwarunkowania psychospołecznego funkcjonowania dorosłych dzieci alkoholików. Warszawa: Wydawnictwo Naukowe PWN.
Szopińska, K., Szopiński, J. (1980). Satysfakcja z małżeństwa. Novum, 6, 88-105.
Śliwak, J., Zarzycka, B., Dziduch, A. (2011). Typy samoświadomości a poczucie osamotnienia. Przegląd Psychologiczny, 54 (3), 241-254.
Wei, M., Russell, D.W., Zakalik, R.A. (2005). Adult Attachment, Social Self-Efficacy, Self- Disclosure, Loneliness, and Subsequent Depression of Freshmen College Students: A Longitudinal Study. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 52 (4), 602-614.
Weinder, G. (2000). Why do Men Get More Heart Disease than Women? An International Perspective. Journal of American College Health, 48, 123-135.
Weiss, R.S. (1973). Loneliness: The Experience of Emotional and Social Isolation. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press.
Wennerberg, T. (2011). Vi er våre relasjoner. Stockholm: Arneberg Forlag AS.
Williams, D. (2007). A Dynamic Systems Analysis of Adult Attachment Styles, Affect, Flexibility, and Real Time Marital Interaction. Stillwater, OK: State University Press.
Winnicott, D. (1994). Dzieci i ich matki. Warszawa: Wydawnictwo W.A.B.
Wiseman, H., Mayseless, O., Sharabany, R. (2006). Why are they Lonely? Perceived Quality of Early Relationships with Parents, Attachment, Personality Predispositions and Loneliness in First-Year University Students. Personality and Individual Differences, 40, 237-248.
Wojciszke, B. (2009). Psychologia miłości. Gdańsk: Gdańskie Wydawnictwo Psychologiczne.
Wood, L.A. (1986). Loneliness. W: R. Harré (red.), The Social Construction of Emotions (s. 184-208). Oxford: Blackwell.
Zalewska, S. (2015). Samotność i osamotnienie w doświadczeniach i narracjach małżeńskich. Warszawa: Wydawnictwo Uniwersytetu Kardynała Stefana Wyszyńskiego.