Attachment and Loneliness in Close Relationships

Main Article Content

Monika Kornaszewska-Polak

Abstract

The article presents the problem of close relationships in the context of contemporary culture, extracting from it two characteristic phenomena relevant to human relationships: attachment and loneliness. Two theories are basic for the article: the Bowlby’s theory of attachment and Hazan and Shaver theory of three attachment styles in romantic relationships: secure, anxiety-ambivalent and avoidant. Loneliness is considered on two dimensions: social and emotional, but the emotional aspect of loneliness is a key phenomenon in unsecure attachment styles. A widely cited study shows that secure attachment styles shaped in childhood are a key determinant of stable and satisfying relationships, while avoiding and anxiety-ambivalent styles destabilize the couples functioning and, consequently, lead to dissatisfaction and loneliness of partners. The most serious impact of unsecure attachment styles and a growing sense of loneliness is generational pattern transmission, which creates the new quality of bonds and relationships. This new quality is the culture of individualism and choices that are constant and not always rewarding.

Article Details

Section
Articles

References

Akerlind I., hornquist J.O., hansson B. (1987). Loneliness Correlates in Advanced Alcohol Abusers. Social Factors and Needs. Scandinavian Journal of Social Medicine, 15 (3), 175-183.
Alexander P.C. (2013). Relational Trauma and Disorganized Attachment. W: J.D. Ford, C.A. courtois (red.), Treating Complex Traumatic Stress Disorders in Children and Adolescents. Scientific Foundations and Therapeutic Models (s. 39-61). New York: The Guilford Press.
Alford D., lyddon W., schreieber R. (2006). Adult Attachment and Working Models of Emotion. Counseling Psychology Quarterly, 19 (1), 45-56.
Aronson E. (2014). Człowiek – istota społeczna. Warszawa: Wydawnictwo Naukowe PWN.
Asher S.R., paquette J.A. (2003). Loneliness and Peer Relations in Childhood. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 12, 75-78.
Banse R. (2004). Adult Attachment and Marital Satisfaction: Evidence for Dyadic Configuration Effects. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 21, 273-282.
Bartholomew K., horowitz L.M. (1991). Attachment Styles Among Young Adults: A Test of a Four Category Model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 61, 226-244.
Bartholomew K., Shaver P.R. (1998). Methods of Assessing Adult Attachment: Do they Converge? W: J.A. Simpson, W.S. Rholes (red.), Attachment Theory and Close Relationships (s. 25-45). New York: Guilford Press.
Baumeister R.F., Leary M.R. (1995). The Need to Belong: Desire for Interpersonal Attachments as a Fundamental Human Motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117 (3), 497-529.
Beck A.T. (1983). Cognitive Therapy of Depression: New Perspectives. W: P.J. Clayton, J.E. Barret (red.), Treatment of Depression: Old Controversies and New Approaches (s. 265-284). New York: Raven Press.
Berscheid E. (1985). Interpersonal Attraction. W: G. Lindzey, E. Aronson (red.), The Handbook of Social Psychology (s. 413-484). New York: Random House.
Booth R. (2000). Loneliness as a Component of Psychiatric Disorders. Medscape General Medicine, 2 (2), 1-7.
Bowlby J. (1973). Attachment and Loss. T. 2: Separation: Anxiety and Anger. New York: Basic Books.
Bowlby J. (1988). A Secure Base. Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development. New York: Basic Books.
Bowlby J. (2007). Przywiązanie. Warszawa: Wydawnictwo Naukowe PWN.
Brennan K.A., Clark C.L., Shaver P.R. (1998). Self-Report Measurement of Adult Attachment. An Integrative Overview. W: J.A. Simpson, W.S. Rholes (red.), Attachment Theory and Close Relationships (s. 46-76). New York: Guilford Press.
Brodén M. (2004). Graviditetens mojligheter: En tid då relationer skapas och utvecklas (The Possibilities of Pregnancy: The Time when Relationships are Created and Developed). Stockholm: Natur och kultur.
Buchholz E.S., Catton R. (1999). Adolescents’ Perceptions of Aloneness and Loneliness. Adolescence, 34, 203-213.
Butchart A., Phinney A., Mian M., Fürniss T. (2006). Preventing Child Maltreatment: A Guide to Taking Action and Generating Evidence. Geneva: World Health Organization Press.
Cassidy J., Kobak R.R. (1988). Avoidance and its Relationship with other Defensive Processes. W: J. Belsky, T. Nezworski (red.), Clinical Implications of Attachment (s. 300-323). Hillsdale–New Jork: Erlbaum.
Collins N.L., Feeney B.C. (2000). A Safe Haven: An Attachment Theory Perspective on Support Seeking and Caregiving in Intimate Relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78, 1053-1073.
Cordova J.V., Jacobson N.S. (1997). Acceptance in Couple Therapy and its Implications for the Treatment of Depression. W: R.J. Sternberg, M. Hojjat (red.), Satisfaction in Close Relationships (s. 307-334). New York: Guilford Press.
Davis D., Shaver P.R., Vernon M.L. (2003). Physical, Emotional, and Behavioral Reactions to Breaking Up: The Roles of Gender, Age, Emotional Involvement, and Attachment Style. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 29 (7), 871-884.
Deniz M.E., Hamarta E., ARI R. (2005). An Investigation of Social Skills and Loneliness Levels of University Students with Respect to Their Attachment Styles in a Sample of Turkish Students. Social Behavior and Personality, 33, 19-32.
Depaulo B. (2006). Singled Aut: How Singles are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever after. New York: St. Martin’s Press.
Dewall C.N., Pond R.S. (2011). Loneliness and Smoking: The Costs of the Desire to Reconnect. Self & Identity, 10 (3), 375-385.
Ditommaso E., Brannen-McNulty C., Ross L., Burgess M. (2003). Attachment Styles, Social Skills and Loneliness in Young Adults. Personality and Individual Differences, 35, 303-312.
Dołęga Z. (1999). Poczucie samotności a zachowania agresywne uczniów. Psychologia Wychowawcza, 2, 146-153.
Downey G., Freitas A. L., Michaelis B., Khouri H. (1998). The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy in Close Relationships: Rejection Sensitivity and Rejection by Romantic Partners. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75, 545-560.
Dube S.R., Felitti V.J., Dong M., Giles W.H., Anda R.F. (2003). The Impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences on Health Problems: Evidence from Four Birth Cohorts Dating Back to 1900. Preventive Medicine, 37(3), 268-277.
Duemmler S.L., Kobak R. (2001). The Development of Commitment and Attachment in Dating Relationships: Attachment Security as Relationship Construct. Journal of Adolescence, 24 (3), 401-415.
Erozkan A. (2011). The Attachment Styles Bases of Loneliness and Depression. International Journal of Psychology and Counselling, 3 (9), 186-193.
Feeney J.A., Kirkpatrick L.A. (1996). Effects of Adult Attachment and Presence of Romantic Partners on Physiological Responses to Stress. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70, 255-270.
Feeney J.A., Noller P. (1992). Attachment Style and Romantic Love: Relationship Dissolution. Australian Journal of Psychology, 44 (2), 69-74.
Felitti V.J., Anda R.F., Nordenberg D., Williamson D.F., Spitz A.M., Edwards V., Koss M.P., Marks J.S. (1998). Relationship of Childhood Abuse and Household Dysfunction to Many of the Leading Causes of Death in Adults: The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 14 (4), 245-258.
Fraiberg S., Adelson E., Shapiro V. (1975). Ghosts in the Nursery: A Psychoanalytic Approach to the Problems of Impaired Infant-Mother Relationships. Journal of Child Psychiatry, 14 (1), 387-421.
Gallo L.C., Smith T.W. (2001). Attachment Style in Marriage: Adjustment and Responses to Interaction. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 18, 263-289.
Giddens A. (2006). Przemiany intymności: seksualność, miłość i erotyzm we współczesnych społeczeństwach. Warszawa: Wydawnictwo Naukowe PWN.
Gobin R.L. (2012). Partner Preferences among Survivors of Betrayal Trauma. Journal of Trauma and Dissociation, 13 (2), 152-174.
Gobin R.L., Freyd J.J. (2009). Betrayal and Revictimization: Preliminary Findings. Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, 1 (3), 242-257.
Griffin D., Bartholomew K. (1994). Models of the Self and Other: Fundamental Dimensions Underlying Measures of Adult Attachment. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 67, 430-445.
Haaga D., Yarmus M., Hubbard S. (2002). Mood Dependency of Self-Rated Attachment Style. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 26, 57-71.
Hawkley L.C., Burleson M.H., Berntson G.G., Cacioppo J.T. (2003). Loneliness in Everyday Life: Cardiovascular Activity, Psychosocial Context, and Health Behaviors. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85, 105-120.
Hazan C., Shaver P. (1987). Romantic Love Conceptualized as an Attachment Process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52, 511-524.
Hazan C., Shaver P.R. (1990). Love and Work: An Attachment-Theoretical Perspective. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 59, 270-280.
Hazan C., Zeifman D. (1994). Sex and the Psychological Tether. W: K. Bartholomew, D. Perlman (red.), Attachment Processes in Adulthood. Advances in Personal Relationships (s. 151-178). Philadelphia: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Herman J. (1994). Coping with Trauma – Theory, Prevention and Treatment. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 7, 151-152.
Hochschild A.R. (1997). The Time Bind. When Work Becomes Home and Home Becomes Work. New York: Metropolitan Books.
Horney K. (2001). Nerwica a rozwój człowieka. Trudna droga do samorealizacji. Poznań: Dom Wydawniczy Rebis.
James B. (1994). Handbook for Treatment of Attachment Trauma Problems in Children. New York: Lexington Books.
Janicka I. (2004). Poczucie osamotnienia w małżeństwie. Psychologia rozwojowa, 9 (2), 55-63.
Johnson S.M., Hunsley J., Greenberg L., Schindler D. (1999). Emotional Focused Couples Therapy: Status and Challenges. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 6 (1), 67-79.
Johnson H.D., Lavoie J.C., Mahoney M. (2001). Interparental Conflict and Family Cohesion: Predictors of Loneliness, Social Anxiety, and Social Avoidance in Late Adolescence. Journal of Adolescent Research, 16 (3), 304-319.
Kaleta K., Mróz J. (2013). Struktura relacji w rodzinie pochodzenia a poczucie wsparcia i osamotnienia. Społeczeństwo i Rodzina, 35 (2), 87-104.
Karbowa M. (2012). Samotność w świetle teorii przywiązania. Studia Psychologiczne, 50 (1), 27-38.
Kaufmann J. (2003). Sociologie du couple (wyd. 4). Paris: Pressess Universitaires de France.
Keelan P.R., Dion K.L., Dion K.K. (1994). Attachment Style and Heterosexual Relationships among Young Adults: A Short-Term Panel Study. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 11, 201-214.
Kessler R.C., Davis C.G., Kendler K.S. (1997). Childhood Adversity and Adult Psychiatric Disorder in the US National Comorbidity Survey. Psychological Medicine, 27 (5), 1101-1119.
Kirkpatrick L.A., Hazan C. (1994). Attachment Styles and Close Relationships: A Four-Year Prospective Study. Personal Relationships, 1, 123-142.
Kobak R.R., Sceery A. (1988). Attachment in Late Adolescence: Working Models, Affect Regulation, and Representations of Self and Others. Child Development, 59, 135-146.
Krug E.G., Dahlberg L.L., Mercy J.A., Zwi A.B., Lozano R. (red.) (2002). Child Abuse and Neglect by Parents and Other Caregivers. World Report on Violence and Health. Geneva: World Health Organization Press.
Lauder W., Mummery K., Jones M., Caperchione C. (2006). A Comparison of Health Behaviours in Lonely and Non-Lonely Populations. Psychology, Health & Medicine, 11(2), 233-245.
Lindboe I. (2014). The Relation between Adverse Childhood Experiences and Attachment-Related Anxiety and Avoidance in Adult Romantic Relationships. A Study of Pregnant Norwegian Women. Oslo: University of Oslo Press.
Main M. (2000). The Organized Categories of Infant, Child, and Adult Attachment: Flexible vs. Inflexible Attention under Attachment-Related Stress. Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, 48 (4), 1055-1096.
Main M., Solomon J. (1990). Procedure for Identifying Infants as Disorganized/Disoriented During Ainsworth Strange Situation. W: M.E. Cummings, M.T. Greenberg, D. Cicchetti (red.), Attachment in the Preschool Years: Theory, Research, and Intervention (s. 121-160). Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
Masterson J.F. (2000). The Personality Disorders: A New Look at the Developmental Self and Object Relations Approach. New York: Zeig, Tucker & Co.
Mikulincer M., Shaver P.R. (2007). Attachment in Adulthood. Structure, Dynamics, Change. New York–London: The Guilford Press.
Monteolivia A., garcia-martinez J. (2005). Adult Attachment Style and its Effect on the Quality of Romantic Relationships in Spanish Students. The Journal of Social Psychology, 145, 745-747.
Nikitin J., Freund A.M. (2009). When Wanting and Fearing go Together: The Effect of Co-Occurring Social Approach and Avoidance Motivation on Behavior, Affect, and Cognition. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40, 783-804.
Nurmi J., Toivonen S., Salmela-aro K., Eronen S. (1997). Social Strategies and Loneliness. Journal of Social Psychology, 137, 764-778.
Olearczyk T.E. (2008). Sieroctwo i osamotnienie. Pedagogiczne problemy kryzysu współczesnej rodziny. Kraków: Ignatium.
Peplau L.A., Perlman D. (1982). Perspectives on Loneliness. W: L.A. Peplau, D. Perlman (red.), Loneliness: A Sourcebook of Current Theory, Research and Therapy (s. 1-18). New York: Wiley.
Perlman D., Peplau L.A. (1984). Loneliness Research: A Survey of Empirical Findings. W: L.A. Peplau, S. Goldston (red.), Preventing the Harmful Consequences of Severe and Persistent Loneliness (s. 13-46). Government Printing Office.
Perry B. (1994). Neurobiological Sequelae of Childhood Trauma: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorders in Children. W: M. Murburg (red.), Catecholamine Function in Post- Traumatic Stress Disorder: Emerging Concepts (s. 253-276). Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Press.
Pielage S.B., Luteijn F., Arrindell W.A. (2005). Adult Attachment, Intimacy, and Psychological Distress in a Clinical and Community Sample. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, 12, 455-464.
Pistole M.C., Clark E.M. (1995). Love Relationships: Attachment Style and the Investment Model. Journal of Mental Health Counselling, 17, 199-209.
Reid B. (2013). The Impact of Attachment on Adult Relationships. Northridge, C: California State University Press.
Reinecke M., Rogers G. (2001). Dysfunctional Attitudes and Attachment Style among Clinically Depressed Adults. Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy, 29, 129-141.
Rembowski J. (1992). Samotność. Gdańsk: Wydawnictwo Uniwersytetu Gdańskiego.
Rholes W.S., Simpson J.A. (2004). Attachment Theory, Basic Concepts and Contemporary Questions. W: W.S. Rholes, J.A. Simpson (red.), Adult Attachment. Theory, Research, and Clinical Applications (s. 3-16). New York–London: Guilford Press.
Rokach A. (2006). Alienation and Domestic Abuse: How Abused Women Cope with Loneliness. Social Indicators Research, 78(2), 327-340.
Rook K.S. (1984). Research on Social Support, Loneliness and Social Isolation. W: P. Shaver (red.), Review of Personality and Social Psychology (s. 239-264). Beverly Hills: Sage Publications.
Rostowski J. (1989). Dezintegracja więzi rodzinnej oraz innych związków interpersonalnych a poczucie osamotnienia jednostki. Roczniki Socjologii Rodziny, I, 191-207.
Rotenberg K.J. (1999). Parental Antecedents of Children’s Loneliness. W: K.J. Rotenberg, S. Hymel (red.), Loneliness in Childhood and Adolescence (s. 176-200). Cambridge, England: Cambridge University Press.
Scott R., Cordova J. (2002). The Influence of Adult Attachment Styles on the Association between Marital Adjustment and Depressive Symptoms. Journal of Family Psychology, 16 (2), 199-208.
Segrin C., Passalacqua S.A. (2010). Functions of Loneliness, Social Support, Health Behaviors, and Stress in Association with Poor Health. Health Communication, 25 (4), 312-322.
Shankar A., McMunn A., Banks J., Steptoe A. (2011). Loneliness, Social Isolation, and Behavioral and Biological Health Indicators in Older Adults. Health Psychology, 30 (4), 377-385.
Skolnick A.S., Skolnick J.H. (red.) (2007). Family in Transition. Boston: Pearson.
Slany K. (2002). Alternatywne formy życia małżeńsko-rodzinnego w ponowoczesnym świecie. Kraków: Zakład Wydawniczy Nomos.
Szlendak T. (2010). Socjologia rodziny. Ewolucja, historia, zróżnicowanie. Warszawa: Wydawnictwo Naukowe PWN.
Śliwak J., Zarzycka B., Dziduch A. (2011). Typy samoświadomości a poczucie osamotnienia. Przegląd Psychologiczny, 54 (3), 241-254.
Toth S.L., Cicchetti D., Macfie J., Emde R.N. (1997). Representations of Self and Other in the Narratives of Neglected, Physically Abused, and Sexually Abused Preschoolers. Development and Psychopathology, 9 (4), 781-796.
Toth S.L., CIcchetti D., Macfie J., Rogosch F.A., Maughan A. (2000). Narrative Representations of Moral Affiliative and Conflictual Themes and Behavioral Problems in Maltreated Preschoolers. Journal of Clinical Child Psychology, 29(3), 307-318.
Van Baarsen B., Snijders T.A., Smit J.H., Van Duijn M.A. (2001). Lonely but not Alone: Emotional Isolation and Social Isolation as Two Distinct Dimensions of Loneliness in Older People. Educational and Psychological Measurement, 61 (1), 119-135.
Wei M., Russell D.W., Mallinckrodt B., Vogel D.L. (2007). The Experiences in Close Relationship Scale (ECR) – Short Form: Reliability, Validity, and Factor Structure. Journal of Personality Assessment, 88 (2), 187-204.
Weiss R.S. (1973). Loneliness: The Experience of Emotional and Social Isolation. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press.
Wennerberg T. (2011). Vi er våre relasjoner. Stockholm: Arneberg Forlag AS.
Wheeler L., Reis H., Nezlek J.B. (1983). Loneliness, Social Integration, and Sex Roles. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 45, 943-953.
Williams D. (2007). A Dynamic Systems Analysis of Adult Attachment Styles, Affect, Flexibility, and Real Time Marital Interaction. Stillwater, OK: Oklahoma State University Press.
Wiseman H., Mayseless O., Sharabany R. (2006). Why are they Lonely? Perceived Quality of Early Relationships with Parents, Attachment, Personality Predispositions and Loneliness in First-Year University Students. Personality and Individual Differences, 40, 237-248.
Wood L.A. (1986). Loneliness. W: R. Harré (red.), The Social Construction of Emotions (s. 184-208). Oxford: Blackwell.