Attachment and Loneliness in Close Relationships
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Published:
Jun 25, 2019
Keywords:
romantic relationships; attachment styles; loneliness; patterns transmission
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Abstract
The article presents the problem of close relationships in the context of contemporary culture, extracting from it two characteristic phenomena relevant to human relationships: attachment and loneliness. Two theories are basic for the article: the Bowlby’s theory of attachment and Hazan and Shaver theory of three attachment styles in romantic relationships: secure, anxiety-ambivalent and avoidant. Loneliness is considered on two dimensions: social and emotional, but the emotional aspect of loneliness is a key phenomenon in unsecure attachment styles. A widely cited study shows that secure attachment styles shaped in childhood are a key determinant of stable and satisfying relationships, while avoiding and anxiety-ambivalent styles destabilize the couples functioning and, consequently, lead to dissatisfaction and loneliness of partners. The most serious impact of unsecure attachment styles and a growing sense of loneliness is generational pattern transmission, which creates the new quality of bonds and relationships. This new quality is the culture of individualism and choices that are constant and not always rewarding.
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References
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Depaulo B. (2006). Singled Aut: How Singles are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever after. New York: St. Martin’s Press.
Dewall C.N., Pond R.S. (2011). Loneliness and Smoking: The Costs of the Desire to Reconnect. Self & Identity, 10 (3), 375-385.
Ditommaso E., Brannen-McNulty C., Ross L., Burgess M. (2003). Attachment Styles, Social Skills and Loneliness in Young Adults. Personality and Individual Differences, 35, 303-312.
Dołęga Z. (1999). Poczucie samotności a zachowania agresywne uczniów. Psychologia Wychowawcza, 2, 146-153.
Downey G., Freitas A. L., Michaelis B., Khouri H. (1998). The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy in Close Relationships: Rejection Sensitivity and Rejection by Romantic Partners. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75, 545-560.
Dube S.R., Felitti V.J., Dong M., Giles W.H., Anda R.F. (2003). The Impact of Adverse Childhood Experiences on Health Problems: Evidence from Four Birth Cohorts Dating Back to 1900. Preventive Medicine, 37(3), 268-277.
Duemmler S.L., Kobak R. (2001). The Development of Commitment and Attachment in Dating Relationships: Attachment Security as Relationship Construct. Journal of Adolescence, 24 (3), 401-415.
Erozkan A. (2011). The Attachment Styles Bases of Loneliness and Depression. International Journal of Psychology and Counselling, 3 (9), 186-193.
Feeney J.A., Kirkpatrick L.A. (1996). Effects of Adult Attachment and Presence of Romantic Partners on Physiological Responses to Stress. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 70, 255-270.
Feeney J.A., Noller P. (1992). Attachment Style and Romantic Love: Relationship Dissolution. Australian Journal of Psychology, 44 (2), 69-74.
Felitti V.J., Anda R.F., Nordenberg D., Williamson D.F., Spitz A.M., Edwards V., Koss M.P., Marks J.S. (1998). Relationship of Childhood Abuse and Household Dysfunction to Many of the Leading Causes of Death in Adults: The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 14 (4), 245-258.
Fraiberg S., Adelson E., Shapiro V. (1975). Ghosts in the Nursery: A Psychoanalytic Approach to the Problems of Impaired Infant-Mother Relationships. Journal of Child Psychiatry, 14 (1), 387-421.
Gallo L.C., Smith T.W. (2001). Attachment Style in Marriage: Adjustment and Responses to Interaction. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 18, 263-289.
Giddens A. (2006). Przemiany intymności: seksualność, miłość i erotyzm we współczesnych społeczeństwach. Warszawa: Wydawnictwo Naukowe PWN.
Gobin R.L. (2012). Partner Preferences among Survivors of Betrayal Trauma. Journal of Trauma and Dissociation, 13 (2), 152-174.
Gobin R.L., Freyd J.J. (2009). Betrayal and Revictimization: Preliminary Findings. Psychological Trauma: Theory, Research, Practice, and Policy, 1 (3), 242-257.
Griffin D., Bartholomew K. (1994). Models of the Self and Other: Fundamental Dimensions Underlying Measures of Adult Attachment. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 67, 430-445.
Haaga D., Yarmus M., Hubbard S. (2002). Mood Dependency of Self-Rated Attachment Style. Cognitive Therapy and Research, 26, 57-71.
Hawkley L.C., Burleson M.H., Berntson G.G., Cacioppo J.T. (2003). Loneliness in Everyday Life: Cardiovascular Activity, Psychosocial Context, and Health Behaviors. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85, 105-120.
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Hazan C., Shaver P.R. (1990). Love and Work: An Attachment-Theoretical Perspective. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 59, 270-280.
Hazan C., Zeifman D. (1994). Sex and the Psychological Tether. W: K. Bartholomew, D. Perlman (red.), Attachment Processes in Adulthood. Advances in Personal Relationships (s. 151-178). Philadelphia: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Herman J. (1994). Coping with Trauma – Theory, Prevention and Treatment. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 7, 151-152.
Hochschild A.R. (1997). The Time Bind. When Work Becomes Home and Home Becomes Work. New York: Metropolitan Books.
Horney K. (2001). Nerwica a rozwój człowieka. Trudna droga do samorealizacji. Poznań: Dom Wydawniczy Rebis.
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