Forgiveness: Love Relationship

Beatrice Gnudi

Beatrice Gnudi Universita di Bari

Keywords: forgiveness; ethnic conflict in Burundi; compassion; kindness; love

Abstract

DOI: https://doi.org/10.2478/pepsi-2018-0004

The article highlights the relationship between forgiveness, relation and love. It is divided in three sections: an experience of forgiveness which took place in Burundi in the ‘90s, an outline of the culture of that country and some theories about forgiveness in the psychological field.

The giving of forgiveness is not immediate, but when the victim is able to grant it, he becomes a subject with the power to release himself from a oppressoroppressed relationship, wherein, if he doesn’t forgive, he might be trapped. Without a victim, there is no offender, even although the guilt and the crime remain as such.

By forgiving, conflict between victim/offender is overcome and the two parts enter into a relationship with each other. In a relationship, every time we connect with the other and we recognize him, we enter into a relationship with him and this recognition becomes a gift.

At this point for-give-ness itself becomes a gift, because it has as it’s centre a gift, it becomes a relationship of love where I am able to recognize the other for what he really is.

References

Barcaccia, B., Mancini, F. (2013). Teoria e clinica del perdono. Milano: Raffaello Cortina.
Bukuru Z. (2004). Le quarante jeunes martyrs de Buta. Parigi: Karthala.
Cavalleri, P.A. (2007). Vivere con l’altro, Roma. Roma: Citta Nuova Editrice.
Hellinger, B., (2016). Ordini dell’amore. Milano: Feltrinelli.
Kamikazi, J.D., (2015). Mgr Michel Ntuyahaga et les origines des Soeurs Servantes du Seigneur (Bene-Umukama) du Burundi, Tesi di dottorato. Firenze: Biblioteca dell’Istituto Universitario Sophia.
Lumera, D. (2015). I 7 passi del perdono. Cesen, Macro Edizioni.
Martello, M. (2003). Oltre In Conflitto. Milano: McGraw-Hill.
Molinari, E., Cavalleri, P.A. (2015). Il dono nel tempo della crisi. Milano: Raffaello Cortina.
Nanetti, F. (2010). Assertivita e emozioni. Bologna: Pendragon.
Nanetti, F. (2014). Laboratori di consapevolezza, Bologna: Pendagron.
Nanetti, F. (2015a). Clinica esistenziale, Trento: Erikson.
Nanetti, F. (2015b). La natura del conflitto. Rimini: Mylife.
Ntamwana, S. (2008). Soyons les serviteurs de la vie, Bruxelles, Le roseau vert.
Paleari, F.G., Tomelli, S. (2008). Risentimento, perdono e riconciliazione nelle relazioni sociali. Roma: Carocci editore.